Friday, June 22, 2007

New Development Methodology Acronyms

A slightly cynical list of acronyms describing today's most common development methodologies:

  • Cover Your Ass Engineering (CYAE) - The driving force behind most individual efforts is to make sure than when the shit hits the fan, they are not to blame
  • Development By Denial (DBD) - Everybody pretends there is a method for what’s being done
  • Get Me Promoted Methodology (GMPM) - People write code and design things to increase their visibility
  • Not My Problem (NMP) - All complex, complicated, expensive, or otherwise troublesome decisions/features/issues are pushed into someone else’s module
  • Not Allowed to Do Development (NADD) - No actual development is tolerated by the development team. Everyone with any technical knowledge at all is at least 3 levels too low on the corporate ladder to be allowed to make even trivial decisions
  • Shovel-Driven Development (SDD) - Get it out the door as quickly as possible
  • Blog Driven Development (BDD)- Developers who are constantly thinking about the subject of their next blog post. Nearly every somewhat interesting line of code they write is extracted into a blog post
  • Copy/Paste/Modify (CPM)
  • Not Invented Here (NIH)
  • Budget Driven Development (BDD)
  • Never Ending Story Development (NESD)
  • I Wish I Was Somewhere Else (IWIWSE) - Produces some of the most unmotivated code in existence
  • Decapitated Chicken Process (DCP) - A time honored micromanagement technique where each day managers identify a drastic emergency and require developers drop what they are doing
  • It’s What They Wanted Development (IWTWD) - Absolving oneself of all accountability by inventing a group of people known as “they” and blaming them for one’s own inability to design and develop a usable system
  • Visibility Driven Development (VDD) - We’re selling the company, so the more times the not-really-ever-going-to-be-product squeaks, whistles, spins, churns, flashes, or wobbles, the better
  • Operation Death Star (ODS) - Develop until one critical function is operational, declare the product “fully operational” and schedule a test. Watch all the important people jump ship just before the test. You’ll feel it in the force when the test blows something up.
  • Blame QA (BQA)
  • Ping Pong Development (PPD) - A development methodology where you enlist a minimum of two stakeholders with mutually exclusive requirements and visions and then have them directly harass the developer constantly
  • Worry About It Later Driven Development (WAILDD)
  • Must Use Specific Technology Development (MUSTD)
  • Get The Money, Get The @!# Money! (GTMGTFM)

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